sick_of_this_bullshit on Datingish

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Saturday, 31 October 2009

Sadly, I can't help but read all the Datingish posts, but there's something that's been on my mind.
When people present their situation, and 200 random Xangans tell them to break up their 5 year relationship or something like that, does the person with the question actually do it?

While I'm equally opinionated on everyone's posts, I feel like we still don't know everything. He or she can portray their SO in a negative way, but does that really mean that's how they really are?
We can all get dramatic, especially in front of an audience that doesn't know who we are, while people like our actual friends who see us and that 'horrible SO' can be a little bit less biased about the whole situation.

Now, obviously, the people comment with their opinions because someone posted a question which asks us for our opinion. But I'm still wondering if there's someone who has broken up with someone not because they knew it's the right thing but because Datingish and its commentors told them to do it.

I dunno.
I'm just thinking out loud.

But considering how many posts there are here by so many different people, to what extent would you follow the Datingish people's advice considering they don't know you and you don't know them?

Monday, 05 January 2009

Buying Gifts For Your SO Can Be A Competition.

So not only is Valentine's Day about a month away, but me and my boyfriend's anniversary is about less than two weeks away. I don't want to be cheap about it, and I am going to spend about 80-100 bucks on the gifts for each occasion...but I was talking to my friend, and I realized it's almost a competition. Not for him, for me.
Last year, just three weeks after we started dating, Valentine's Day came. I asked and asked what he wants and he said nothing, except a hug and a kiss. So I followed what he said, and I figured he would get me nothing either [and unlike crazy, psycho girlfriends, I actually would've been fine with that].
Then we met on Valentine's Day and he came towards me with a huge bag and a huge bouquet of flowers. My ex-boyfriend of two years has never done that for me, so I was surprised to get all that just after three weeks.
He gave me a huge Yale Shakespeare book [with everything he ever wrote] and took me out for dinner. It was magical, but I felt horrible, cause I literally had nothing else for him except a hug and a kiss...not even a "Happy Valentine's Day" card.
And I am not materialistic at all, I am all for making stuff myself, but I can't help the feeling of guilt, which makes me wanna make up for last year by getting something super awesome for him.
I don't know what he'll get for me, I just know it'll be much better than mine.
So now, I can either just be typical and cheesy and make a scrap book or put a picture of us in a frame or I can be creative [which won't happen] or I can be loose with my money and buy something for him...

So questions[s]:
1. What would you get for your SO for an anniversary besides scrapbooks, framing your picture, etc?
2. Do you feel like you have to compete and get the better gift for your SO?

Monday, 10 November 2008

An update on "the love triangle" that is now a duo.

Let's not give them names. Let's call my ex The Ex [I know, very original] and let's call our mutual friend The Friend.

Since that last post a lot has changed. Me and the ex have gotten closer. Not only are we best friends, but we're almost dating, in an awkward unofficial way, where either everyone knows we like each other, or they wish we did.
The friend has stepped out of the picture. Occasionally he tries to be a douche, but he doesn't want me anymore. Which is good.

Now back to the ex. A lot has happened. He dated a girl for barely two weeks. And not just any girl, but one that was far from being his type. During dating this girl, he actually kept telling me that he loves me. Not just loves me, but loves me [which is why he broke up with her so fast]. He said he wants to spend a long time with me, but he has to work out things in his life, so when we start dating everything will be perfect.
He says he wants to date me, but he's not ready to date me/anyone yet [after dating that girl for two weeks, he kind of gave up].

And I'm a very understanding girl, but I also think that if I find someone who I love, I want to start spending my time with him as soon as possible. I know he cares about me, so before anyone says anything to diss him...don't. He cares about me and loves me, I know. And I can understand that he wants to work things out, but he has to realize that things won't always be perfect.
I thought about dating others to make him realize I might not always be around, but he knows that. he says he doesn't want to make me wait for him, so it's up to me. And obviously, I choose to wait.
I could try to date others, and in fact, I did.
But it wasn't the same.
I'm happier with him as friends / friends with benefits then I would be with someone else in a relationship.
I know that someday we'll get back together and that it'll work out well.

So the question is...
If you know the person is worth it, are you willing to wait around?
And if you are, how long are you willing or what's your breaking point?

Saturday, 12 July 2008

You, the ex, and his friend who ruins everything.

There's this guy that I dated for a few months, and then we split, and we still remain really close friends...
Then there's his friend who's crushing on me, who talks shit behind my ex.
And then there's me, with no interest in my ex's friend, only my ex.

So these two testosterone-heads are in a fraternity, and lately, all this loyal friendship bullshit is getting to me.
First time I got pissed, when I hung out with the frat guys who saw me talking to my ex's friend...and well, they "almost killed him" for breaking the sacred rule of never going out with your ex's friend. Never mind that I wasn't going out with the guy, I was only talking to him.
Then, when I hang out with my ex, his friend gets all nosy and wants to know why I travel that much just to see my ex.
A few months ago, when me and my ex were not officially going out, but still being together, he told me how since his friend likes me, he promised him not to do anything with me anymore.
And the whole time I thought...but he never went out with me...so how can he make my ex promise something like that as if he owned me? And the answer? Friendship, loyalty, and not letting girls between.
And now when me and my ex talked on the phone, he jokingly said "Sounds like a love triangle."
"Yeah, except I'm not with you or him." I said.
Well, holy cow. Isn't it lovely to be in one when you're not with either one of the guys?
Maybe it's just me, but when I want something [or in this case, someone] I piss on the rules, considering they're meant to be broken, and I go after what I want. I'm not saying guys should go against their friends, but if you know the girl doesn't want you, why must you create catastrophe?

So, I guess my question is... have any other girls felt like Yoko without actually doing anything?